Monthly Archives: October 2011

No Relationship Formular

Being in a relationship is one of the hardest experiences we face in life, be it a child to parents or siblings relationship, or even friendship but the hardest of them all is a relationship between a man and a woman.

A relationship between a man and a woman is like taking an exam with many options to choose from. However, in this case, even though all your options may be correct, you might still not pass, simply means it might not work for you.  So, relationships are more like an equation and you try hard to find the suitable or possible way to get the right answer.

You are in a relationship with a guy, he seems all sweet and nice, you begin to care for him, call to check up on him from time to time, cook, clean, hangout with him, smile at his friends even though you do not like them, change your hair style weekly or try out five outfits because you are going on a date with him. Despite all the sacrifice you put into your relationship, he is pissed and says, “You are acting more like a wife than my girlfriend”.

Then in another relationship the case is different. There is this other guy, whose girlfriend is more concern about going to the club on Fridays, knows the names of every eatery or restaurants in town, do not even know how to boil a kettle of water and the guy is wishing that his girlfriend could act more responsibly like a wife should.

My friend, Cynthia had updated on her bbbm (Blackberry Messenger) on Monday, asking her friends to tell her how to act as a girlfriend. I ping her immediately to find out what led to her update and surprisingly her boy friend had complained that she was all over him always, showing too much concern about his welfare and concluded she was not acting like his girlfriend but his wife.

I just do not get it, what do men want? They date a good girl; they nag about her, date a tough lady they still nag. Since, when is showing that you care for someone a bad thing?

Years ago, I was in Cynthia’s position, an ex boyfriend had complained that I was trying too hard to be his wife than his girlfriend. So, I decided to take a chill-pill in my next relationship by trying to maintain my status as a girlfriend. So, when I started dating Temi I started acting like his girlfriend. When I visit his place, I get to eat the cooked meal in his kitchen he had already made and I watch movies with him rather than clean.

One day, I slept off on his couch while he was mopping and cleaning his house, then woke up hours later and requested that he see me off. Two days later, he broke up with me while chatting on Facebook and his reason was that he was not sure that I was not a wife material and lacked home training. I was shocked but found his query rather comic.

So, which situation is right here? How should a girlfriend behave in a relationship? Is it wrong to show that you care for a guy you are in love with, even if you act like his wife? Do they want you to be a groupie, girlfriend or wife?

Relationship, dating or courting whichever name you like to call it, a common factor is that there is no easy way to crack  a relationship formula because there is none . One thing I know for sure is that I have always chosen the right options in my relationships.

Let’s discuss people.


* Note the names in this story are fictional.

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